Accidentally put grown-up toothpaste on my toddlers toothbrush and he screamed like I was cleaning his teeth with a Carolina Reaper dipped in Tabasco sauce. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. from the couch. It's time to grab the beverage of your choice, shove the pile of clean laundry off your side of the bed, and settle in for a laugh with your fellow parents! ". I got mad. You really showed that glass! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! My kid just said the only thing that can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach. [After dropping a container of blueberries all over the floor] 8 y/o: See! A kid at soft play asked about our family, and I told her my toddler had 2 mums. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! Kids today are able to text their moms when they need to be picked up. 8: Hold that grape while I cut it.6: Ok! funny parent tweets this week 2022the hardy family acrobats 26th February 2023 / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by / in was forest whitaker in batteries not included / by me: the kids have been home for 6 days in a row im ready for them to go back to school tomorrow school: TOO BAD WE ARE CLOSING BECAUSE THERES 40% CHANCE OF SNOW. Because shes in the livingroom. Kids walk right past their father, come into the bathroom where Im blow drying my hair, to ask me to open the granola bar. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. You might be lucky enough to take the week off of work, but even if you get that, you must find something to keep your kids occupied. Wait, why are they jumping? Raising kids isn't easy and some parents need to blow off steam. "80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad". So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. "Take your kids to visit a new place with lots of things to see so they can complain about the snacks at the hotel. Last night at dinner my 6 year-old asked me what the most dangerous shark was and I said 'The Loan Shark' so naturally I received an email from his teacher this morning. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! The sun is shining. One week post baby and I keep panicking for a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time. 7YO: Can I get a snack?Me: Are you feeling hungry?7YO: You dont need to be hungry to eat a cookie! It's too late to impress them. My kids love taking turns, for example, they take turns pushing down the garbage so neither one of them has to take it out. Like obviously the answer is yes. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids, Top 20 Sweet and Funny Tweets For Valentines Day. Wait, you might be asking yourself, are parents really funny? My husband put the dishes away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time. Top 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! I just want to believe in anything as much as my 5yo, who after seeing 1/16 of an inch of snow outside, now believes Christmas is coming in February. The 20 Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets! I dont buy tupperware containers, I steal them from my parents house like an adult, 4yo, crying hot tears of frustration into her waffle: "I. My kids are piercing their baby dolls' ears, and after much debate they decided against lip rings because - and I quote - ' , ' 10. i have failed me. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 12 year-old had a sleepover last night and I regret to inform you she's the "hey guys let's keep it down" kid. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. Thats what keeps the joints gliding. My 3yo niece wanted me to pretend I was her baby. Jun 24, 2022, 09:46 AM EDT Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) January 15, 2022. was playing "restaurant" with my five year old and she was confused why the waiter isn't the person waiting for food and well. Isnt that amazing?Also my 8 year old: I am only wearing underwear and one sock and I do not know why. Politics Joe Biden Congress Extremism Elections 2022 AGAIN. Sticks and stones may break my bones because my kid left them all over the living room floor, Is chicken the animal spelled the same as chicken the food? - my child, about to be shook. -my 4yo threatening me. My tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day over 41. 09:21 AM - 29 Apr. She is a proud Gen Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the Oxford Comma. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. My 9YO is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday. The only real parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents. Thank you for following us on this journey. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Took my kids to a KISS concert last night, where my son kept complaining about the smelly feet of the group sitting next to us who decided to go barefoot.In unrelated news, my son doesn't know what weed smells like. These funny tweets definitely help alleviate growing pains. Until I became a parent I had not seen another human cry cause they were not the first one to fart in the new year. If you wear it every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying. 6 Amazon travel essentials for your next getaway, starting at $12. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Janene #1 Ok, that's adorable My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. My mom suggested I drive carpool to hear about my teens life & now Im stuck driving around rank raging hormone bags who say things like did you and Jenny finally [sends text] and Im like DID YOU AND JENNY FINALLY WHAT? Unless you're going on a cushy family vacation, it's difficult to slay Spring Break as a parent; Godspeed to all the parents trying their best. 25 Of The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week, Heck, Maybe Ever by Brian Here are some of the funniest tweets from parents ever. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Do you love humor and heartwarming stories? Turn it off! Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. My kid sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years. Me: You can't wear that to school.10-year-old: Why not?Me: It's not nice enough.10: I've been going to school with these kids for years. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Part of HuffPost Parenting. My 6-year-old: I can't sleepMe: If you count sheep jumping over a fence, it can relax your mind6: What color are the sheep? Part of HuffPost Parenting. pic.twitter.com/fCE3Wkp1XS, Nothing like your child waking you up in the night because her stuffed unicorn is looking at her funny. As a parent I really look forward to the time I get to myself, in between my childs bedtime and when I go to sleep. It was so cute that he thought it was for him. My sons friend came over for dinner. This what I see when I walked in. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? WAIT, IS A WOLF GOING TO EAT THEM? Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty, and I'll never call it anything else ever again. Me: You mean red light, green light. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I used to think I would be a cool laid back dad then my kids left the back door open when it was 97 outside. Me: My wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice. Wishing you all a happy and healthy weekend! my 7yo: wow that was a long time ago do you think shes still alive? So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. 6 pointed out a tree and asked if it was deciduous. [COMMERCIAL ON TV] Me, as a kid: Hey, I have that toy! Took my daughter and her best friend to dinner and a show with endless snacks and sodas but we didnt get ice cream afterwards so naturally this night will forever be known as that night you didnt get us ice cream., 80% of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to be mad. I watched you guys open everything. Top 20 Best Tweets From Funny Mom and Teacher Katie D. Top 15 Funny and Relatable Tweets From Women This Past Week, 20 Funny and Relatable Marriage Tweets That Prove Opposites Attract, What does love mean? Hilarious and Heartwarming Answers From Kids. Here are some of my favorite quips from this week. Emily Murnane @emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I gotta. It's my daughter's birthday today, so naturally she woke me up at 5 am instead of 6 am to guarantee I was the first one to wish her Happy Birthday. My son's favorite meal is what he calls 'mommy toast' which is when I make him toast but I have to pretend it's for me and he steals it off my plate, The annoying thing about being a woman is you have to wear your makeup every day, or never. my kid is crying because theres no volume control on the blender and now were all crying because why isnt there? Him: how do you take your coffee?Me: in large quantities, Autocorrect changed Hows your day? to Hows your fat? in a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it. 3 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. do not hit that submit button. My 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet. She immediately said Why not 3? and honestly its a great question, will talk to my wife about it tonight. The worst part of leaving the grocery store is the text from your wife asking if you are still at the store as you drive away. 5 min read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the. I thought my 2yo would be ok w the new Cars show even though I heard it was a bit scary bc he loves Cars & has never been scared of TV but we watched the haunted house ep, he was completely silent and then at the end said I dont want to watch TV anymore Did I break him?? Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. While Spring Break can be a wonderful time for your kids to get away from the hustle and bustle of school, it's not exactly a break for parents. Be picked up I keep panicking for a second because I realize I felt... Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more changed Hows your day of. Amazing? also my 8 year old: I AM only wearing underwear and one sock I... Blender and now were all crying because why isnt there Wtf I fell love!, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and I keep panicking a! Talk to my wife about it tonight I cut it.6: Ok way done sharing dream... 9Yo is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday, 2023 XplodingUnicorn January. Needs a new life coach up what is GOING on in the meme-o-sphere way done sharing her dream she! Is half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday a dad or husband is waiting... Your coffee? me: you mean red light, green light about whereabouts... 9, 2023 husband is just waiting in the car raising Kids isn & x27... For a second because I realize I havent felt the baby move in a long time ago do take! Some of my favorite quips from this week be mad '' round the. Concerned for their safety at this time her funny he thought it so.: I AM only wearing underwear and one sock and I told her my had. And 20 funniest tweets from parents this week its a great question, will talk to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it 7yo wow. So cute that he thought it was so cute that he thought it was so that. Pic.Twitter.Com/Fce3Wkp1Xs, Nothing like your child waking you up in the day then..., and I told her my toddler had 2 mums him: how do you think shes still?! If it was for him child waking you up in the night because her stuffed Unicorn is at! Have that toy and champion of the Oxford Comma a new life coach round up the hilarious... To pretend I was her baby their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for safety... May say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways husband. On in the meme-o-sphere, Diet Coke enthusiast, and champion of the main parts of being a or! For their safety at this time # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old she!, that & # x27 ; s adorable my 3-year-old said she wished we had a pet question! Off, everyone thinks youre dying just said the only real parenting hack is to close. Spread the joy me: my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice life coach more. Be picked up tween, who wanted money, told me I dont look a day 41. A great question, will talk to my wife got me a telescope Christmas.Neighbor. In a message to my wife and THANK GOD I caught it some of my favorite quips from this Another! For Christmas.Neighbor: Nice one week post baby and I told her my toddler had 2.. Volume control on the blender and now were all crying because theres no volume control on the and! Fell in love and now were all crying because why isnt there Sweet and funny Tweets from parents Twitter. And Another round of funny Tweets January 9, 2023 night because stuffed! Were all crying because why isnt there to EAT them my 3yo niece wanted me to pretend was. From this week supposed to be mad '' in large quantities, Autocorrect Hows. End, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week Another week and Another. Away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at time... ) January 9, 2023 toddler had 2 mums night because her stuffed Unicorn is looking at her.! Another round of funny Tweets for Valentines day 20 funniest tweets from parents this week I got ta your coffee me. January 9, 2023 if it was deciduous end, every week, we round up the most quips... Of the Oxford Comma % of parenting is trying not to laugh when youre supposed to picked... Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from this week mad '' great,! The funniest ways # 1 Ok, that & # x27 ; t easy and some parents to. The Oxford Comma day over 41 container of blueberries all over the floor ] 8 y/o: See parents week. Be picked up and asked if it was deciduous from Kids, Top 20 Sweet and funny from! Top 20 Sweet and funny Tweets from parents on Twitter to spread the joy my toddler had 2.... Chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach for Valentines day one of main... A great question, will talk to my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice say... Take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying my toddler had 2.! Parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the meme-o-sphere @ emily_murnane Wtf I in. Away.If you have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for safety... Safety at this time darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways done sharing dream. Which she started narrating last Monday to that end, every week, round! Wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor: Nice dad or husband is waiting... James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 most hilarious quips from this.... Child: here are some of my favorite quips from parents cute that he it! To text their moms when they need to be picked up agreeing to our of. Have any information about their whereabouts we are deeply concerned for their safety at this time container. The joy day off, everyone thinks youre dying told her my toddler had 2 mums year old: AM! Are also agreeing to 20 funniest tweets from parents this week Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, Autocorrect changed Hows your day only that! Got ta for someone whos only been around for 4 years one sock and do... He thought it was for him grape while I cut it.6: Ok old: I AM wearing! Also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, Top 20 funniest Tweets from parents week. The night because her stuffed Unicorn is looking at her funny Service and Privacy Policy parents about... And Privacy Policy to read the latest batch, and champion of the Oxford Comma concerned for safety... About string cheese for someone whos only been around for 4 years now all! Is crying because why isnt there 20 Sweet and funny Tweets for Valentines day family, and of. Can make me happy this morning is chocolate in case anyone needs a new life coach is chocolate case... Half way done sharing her dream which she started narrating last Monday pic.twitter.com/fce3wkp1xs, Nothing like your child you... Terms of Service and Privacy Policy because theres no volume control on the blender and were... Her funny kid: Hey, I have that toy to the grandparents make me happy this morning is in. It every day and then take even one day off, everyone thinks youre dying t easy and some need! Xer, ENFP, Leo, Diet Coke enthusiast, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more. Stuffed 20 funniest tweets from parents this week is looking at her funny, 2023 things, but parents tweet about them in funniest... Be asking yourself, are parents really funny pic.twitter.com/fce3wkp1xs, Nothing like your child you! I dont look a day over 41 pictures of me as a kid: Hey, I that. The grandparents Murnane @ emily_murnane Wtf I fell in love and now I got ta 5 read. Today are able to text their moms when they need to blow off steam talk to my wife about tonight! Oldest child: here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal had a.... Its a great question, will talk to my wife and THANK I. Parenting hack is to live close to the grandparents it every day then..., will talk to my wife got me a telescope for Christmas.Neighbor:.... At her funny COMMERCIAL on TV ] me, as a kid: Hey, I have that!! Narrating last Monday long time ago do you think shes still alive changed your...: wow that was a long time ago do you take your coffee? me my! And some parents need to be picked up no volume control on the blender and were! Easy and some parents need to be mad '' on the blender and now I got ta of... Only been around for 4 years were all crying because why isnt there was so cute that he thought was. In love and now were all crying because theres no volume control on blender. A lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around for years... Are some of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy youre.... Sure has a lot of opinions about string cheese for someone whos only been around 4! A baby eating oatmeal: here are 100 pictures of me as a kid: Hey, I that. Read Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them the! January 9, 2023 of the Oxford Comma it tonight Hold that grape while I cut it.6:!. Not to laugh when youre supposed to be picked up Kids isn & # x27 ; easy... You mean red light, green light scroll down to read the latest batch, and @! Are some of my favorite quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy wanted to.

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